Written by Cheery Zahau

It was a cold winter in 2003 when I was at the Central Chin Women Organization (CCWO) in Aizawl, India to help translate Chin language into English. My leaders and colleagues had left me with the huge responsibility of looking after the office.

The deportation of Burmese refugees by the local Mizo people, which had begun on 17th July 2003 had started to calm down. After months of terror, hiding and fear of deportation and homelessness we were now feeling a little more at ease, a little safer than during the worst of the deportation period. Fortunately, our landlord now felt safe enough to allow us to rent another room without fear of reprisal, so some of the girls and I could take shelter. However I didn’t know where my family and friends had hidden themselves.

The stories I translated on that cold winter’s day changed me. It was the first time I met with survivors of rape by the brutal Burmese soldiers. Though I always believed that the Burmese soldiers would not spare the women, that they would in fact target women to oppress and punish our people, it was still very hard for me to talk with the rape survivors. I could feel their fear, see it in their faces, the pain or hatred in their eyes. Their hands shock with anger. Their voices blurred with helplessness at the end of the conversation.

I was shocked. As I listened to their stories I was not sure if I was breathing then I realized that I was weeping alongside them. After listening to their stories they gave me a duty, saying in Chin “It’s not just us. More women will suffer if you don’t talk”. I cannot forget that moment. Likewise, my colleagues who had heard the stories of women who had been victimized sexually and physically by the Burmese troops were also determined to speak out. In 2006 we started documenting incidents of sexual violence by the military regime against Chin women as much as we could. We knew the stories we heard outside Burma, from the few brave women determined to recount their traumatic experiences, were just the ‘tip of the iceberg’, so we decided to go inside.

My colleagues risked their lives to penetrate inside Chin State to get more detailed information and documentation about the ongoing rapes and sexual violence. Outside Burma I waited anxiously. I spent hours and hours worrying about the lives of my colleagues who were travelling in Chin State because the Burmese army troops are everywhere in Chin State. They can arrest anyone without a reason. My colleagues who went inside with a purpose, with a mission to interview survivors and expose the truth faced the most dangerous conditions and severe consequences if the military authorities found out.

I myself travelled to several villages to meet with community leaders, to meet with women who had been severely hurt by the troops. I remember their words clearly.

One time a rape survivor said to me “Telling my story to you will give me another nightmare because it is so painful beyond what words can express.”

On another occasion, a woman, said, with anger in her voice “telling my story to you will not ease my pain”.

I was frozen because I could feel their anger and their pain.

The attitudes of some of the male leaders, who still cling to the outdated notion that rape brings shame to the community, mocked me and the works that women were doing. While they felt more at ease avoiding what was happening to the Chin women I had to challenge them, “Will you talk about rape only after all the women in your village have been raped by the soldiers?”

One time a woman said to me “I am not young and attractive but the soldiers still raped me. They raped me because I am an ethnic woman and they knew I could not do anything against them.” I become more determined to protect the helpless women in whatever way I can, with the tools that I have. I do not have guns like the Burmese army soldiers have, to protect the women. I do not have the physical strength to save these women from the soldiers. But I do have a voice! All I can do is to tell their stories to the world, hoping that these atrocities will be stopped.

I have talked publicly about the rape of women in Burma on several occasions. Before I delivered the presentation, I wept for nights and days. Often I told myself “don’t tell these stories anymore” because the pain takes place inside of me. At times I get depressed after talking about the rape incidents and I ask myself the reason, which I do not need to know. All I know is, I will keep talking about this until rape is stopped, until violence against women does not take place anymore, until the women have laws that will protect them, until the women have political freedom to take part in our political solution. I believe that when the women are given political freedom, when we have rule of law and the protection of the law, when women are safe from any form of violence, our country will be peaceful and prosperous.

This article appeared in ‘Simmering Under Ashes, published by Article 19:-
http://www.article19.org/advocacy/campaigns/burma/simmering-under-ashes.php?page=41