Gen. Than Shwe’s Monkey Hand

&

The Case For Democracy In Burma

_ by David Law

Just awhile ago, I came across pictures of Gen. Than Shwe with a prominent view of his palm which made me very curious since most of us who grew up in Burma have an interest in palmistry and astrology. (If, among our Readers, there is anyone who can analyze palms, we from Burma Digest enthusiastically invite you for your findings on Than Shwe’s palm and also on Ben Laden’s palm from an earlier article.)

As you can see , our photoartist, Mr. Creator, has morphed Than Shwe’s face on to Osama Ben Laden and named it Ben La Shwe.Also see the Ben La Shwe where Ben Laden’s palm does show these three lines. The upper crease is the Line of the Head, or intellect. The lower crease is the Line of the Heart, or romanticism. These two lines, in the ordinary person, do not go all the way across the palm. The diagonal line is the Line of Life, or longevity.

My knowledge of palmistry is not much, but at the very least, I know about the three main lines that most people are supposed to have, except Gen. Than Shwe. As you can see below from the normal baby’s palm on the left; there are the upper, lower and diagonal lines.

A simian crease is a single palmar crease as compared to two creases in a normal palm. Simian crease occurs in about 1 out of 30 normal people, but is also frequently associated with other conditions such as Down syndrome, Aarskog syndrome or foetal alcohol syndrome.

In the picture, there is a normal baby’s palm on the left and a palm with the Simian Crease on the right. See again how similar it is to Than Shwe’s palm. Thus, we can say that Than Shwe has a Simian Crease which is found in Down syndrome, Aarskog syndrome or foetal alcohol syndrome. All three of these conditions are associated with mental retardation and other abnormalities.

Now look at the picture of the orangutan’s palm on the left in the picture above. You will notice that the ape also has a crease that extends all the way across, just like the line on Than Shwe’s hand. That is known as a Simian’s Crease, simian meaning ape or monkey. In this photo, there are even two Simian Creases, both running ALL the way across, like in Than Shwe’s palm.

Looking at Than Shwe’s palm, you will notice that he does NOT have any Line of the Head. Does this mean he has no brain? Well, Than Shwe’s behaviour speaks for himself. He only has the Line of the Heart that extends all the way across, which is unusual.

Does it mean that he and his wife, Kyaing Kyaing, have enjoyed passionate romance? Well, they do have been together all these years. Till Death Do Us Part, like Marie Antoinette and King Louis XIV on the guillotine.

Monkey hand compared with Than Shwe’s hand

And the Line of Life! Are my eyes playing tricks? This line seems so disgustingly long that it is curving around the base of the palm like an L, Long Life. I could be wrong since I am not a palmist, and I welcome anyone who knows palmistry to tell me off. Tell me to go see an eye doctor if you will, but to me this damn line looks a long L. I’m sorry, People, that this line is SO long. Let’s work harder to foment a Revolution so that we will make Than Shwe’s long lifeline come true by making him work in a prison farm porter until he dies. Execution is too kind for him.

Are you familiar with the joke about the American, Englishman, and Burmese who had a bragging competition? The first one boasted about how an American swam across the English Channel without any arms, the second boasted about how an Englishman climbed Mt. Everest without any feet, and the third one WON the contest when he boasted that Burma has been ruled by dictators with NO brain since 1962. Well, that was just a popular joke, but now we have medical evidence to explain why the present dictator has no brain, or maybe just low brain.

If Burma had a democratic election system, perhaps I could jokingly suggest that all candidates should display their palms during the election campaign and the voters can check and decide for themselves before the election. And if a candidate with a Simian Crease IS elected, and his behaviour is like a monkey during office, then this elected official should be voted out of office, which speaks strongly to push for the case of democracy in Burma.

Well, we don’t have democracy; instead, TS is firmly entrenched in power and he is running amok like a gorilla escaped from the zoo.
The Economy — ravaged by his monkeying around,
the P e o p l e — savaged by his strong-arm King Kong tactics,
the ruined Motherland — salvaged and exchanged for bananas from China. (Nga pyaw thee net lair sah. You could very well say China has gained Burma for a relatively cheap price.)

In English, as in Burmese, to be like a monkey is to be erratic. The saying goes, “Loo seik har Myauk seik,” meaning the human mind is like a monkey’s mind” when describing a man like TS. All Burmese people will agree that TS has –

– a Myauk Seik (monkey mind), changing his mind whimsically, like the Dictator Idi Amin of Uganda (see the movie, “The Last King of Scotland”) who was said to have a mercurial mind and looks like a gorilla.

– That he talks Myauk Zagah (Monkey Gibberishes, which is why Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, NLD, and Ethnic Nationalities cannot understand him, and reconciliation talks will never work)

–and that now we know he also has a Myauk Lett ( monkey hand). Interestingly, myauk lett also means monkey wrench and it is coincidence that both languages use the word “monkey” for this tool, and that “throwing a monkey wrench in the works” is an idiom for ruining everything, such as how TS has ruined Burma.

–His face is a Myauk Myet Nha (Monkey-face) which supports Darwin’s Evolutionary Theory that Man descended from the Apes. If you have always disagreed or disliked Darwin, just look at Than Shwe’s ugly mug and you will agree that at least this one descended from the Apes. Maybe one of his parents came from the zoo, which is the reason why he recently ordered the Rangoon Zoo to be moved to his beloved Naypyidaw, so as to have his zoo family near him.

But there are many Burmese people who will disagree with me: “How dare you, Ko David, ever say our Beloved Leader looks like a monkey. He doesn’t…… …….. He looks more like a dog!!” ( a Khway Biloo, demon dog, i.e., bull dog) Well, then, in that case the other parent is likely a Chee Sah Khway, a Shxt Eating Dog, the kind of stray mongrel that wanders in the streets. I don’t know.

And then there are others who argue he looks like a pig, that wretched swine. It could be true. Just look at the pictures in this article. Half-dog, half-pig, like that angry German epithet, “schweinhundt!” These theorists point to his daughter’s wedding photos where her greedy pigface with puffy jowls shine underneath the diamonds and pearls. Well, all I can say is that we need DNA samples like on the Jerry Springer TV show. Perhaps it would prove Kyaing Kyaing has been sleeping around in the pig pen.

So manually (kayakan), linguistically (wazigan), and psychically (manawgan) we know he is all ape, putting the dog and pig (schweinhundt) paternity cases aside until DNA can be obtained. This is all the more reason to fight for Democracy so that we may never again be stuck with brutish apes like Than Shwe.

References:

1. 1. Than Shwe’s picture is from AFP/Files & also from www.buddhismaustralia.org/
2. 2. The oranguatan’s hand is from David W. Boles’ Urban Semiotic ™
3. 3. The Simian Crease is from a Medline entry by Daniel Rauch, MD, FAAP, New York.
4. 4. Morphed photo of Ben La Shwe is from a recent Burma Digest issue by Mr. Creator.