_ by AKS

I am a patriot at heart. As a kid I was probably fully brain washed that our country is the land of considerate people, where brave men who will defend the weak, tender women mothering fearless warriors. I thought I have grown up but I still want to believe that my country will be a liveable place one day someday although I never know when it will be!!!!!

I am not a blind patriot and I never believe that one could serve the interest of a country only if one stays inside to make a living serving the government. My justification is that working in a country without industry will only weaken professionalism and technicians going abroad would ease our country’s educated-but-unemployed problem. I always preach closely knitted Burmese professional network overseas will serve the interest of Burma. I believe that working and living in overseas while learning aggressively for oneself will also serve one’s country one day, especially if one choose to go back to Burma one day to work and live there.

Although I don’t agree with what regime does, I always tried hard to differentiate between the state and the government that is heading the state. Although there is no transparency about the tax money paid at the embassies, I tried to console that at least a fraction of my hard earned money will go for my country and my people. I have paid taxes in hard currency more than the cost to build a small primary school in rural Burma and I am proud of it.

Being a patriot at heart, whenever friends convert to other citizenships, especially when educated ones, the men with integrity, the promising young men decided to switch to other nationalities, when they decide not to call Burma home anymore, I feel sad. I know that will serve them better by keeping allegiance with their adopted country and I am happy for their careers. But I took it personally for the loss for my homeland whenever friends do convert.

But my visions started to fail me. It becomes blurred now. I no longer see the world as I used to envision before. The government in Kyat Pyay (Burma’s new Capital, also called Nay Pyi Daw) is really hopeless. I know it sounds stupid to reach that conclusion only after that long.

I understand that oil price hikes and currency exchange rates maybe the deciding factor in raising fuel retail prices recently. As change agents and pro change activists, those 88 generation student leaders may try to score some political points on the rising fuel retail prices but their government should have understood and treated them better. They should not be punished for some acts they commit with the love for their country. We need a change! We desperately need a government that will listen to their people, share the pain, tried best to relieve the pain without damaging the growth of the nation in short and long terms. But Kyat Pyay folks are failing in every aspect.

When there are accidents happened on the streets, there is always the bigger vehicle to be blamed. Even if 88 students have hidden political agenda, the government should not act this way.

Suddenly I started to realize my short comings, with my skills and education, I could easily emigrate anywhere, work and live comfortably. I should not be worrying for poor people in Burma as I am no longer poor anymore by Burmese standards. I can get the best of both worlds by keeping status quo. Why should I consume myself with anger, frustrations, and sadness when the hope for changes I want for my country was dashed? Will they serve my interests? Why should I be occupied myself with affairs of far away land where some of those citizens will go and beat fellow citizens and will send them to prison for a small change in dollars. How much those USDA and Swan Arr Shins pro-junta thugs make for doing those coward acts and betrayals to their own people? Why should I worry for those civil servants or armed forces ranks and files when they are simply serving the interest of a handful of selfish old men and women, the elite families of the top Generals? Why should I care for those urban unemployed labourers, under employed professionals and rural farmless and land owning peasants when themselves does not know what is best for themselves? Why should I give a fuss for others when I am fine and my family and friends will be fine? I started to understand why do some of my fellow country men no longer called Burma home anymore. They were forced to give up, because there seems no hope left.

When you cannot change the place, one has to move. After all, it has become a fair game.

I should thank some highlighted news in Sky Full of Lies from Junta Newspaper for educating me. Where the claim that peace loving people turned against protesting people and help them being sent to prison.

Pure Shameless Lies!

I wished I had less than 2 years old brain to believe that Daddy Tatmadaw knows the best for his people when the whole nation is black out and dark at night, when the people start to practise jungle laws to one another, where daily wage or what an honest man sells his daily labour does not make him able to bring rice to his family, what a banana republic with kangaroo courts. I have seen it before elsewhere but my country has now become worse than those failed states.

I am sick of all this……as most of you does. From here, I want to apologize to friends for giving them my harsh criticism when I heard that they are abandoning Burmese citizenships. Sorry for my naivety.

From now on, I will never blame any fellow Burmese for converting to other nationalities: Americans, Australlians, Singaporeans, Canadians or British or whatever…..

Sincerely