Our Excuses:

1.  The disintegration of the Union of Myanmar so that the generals could hold on to power.

2. The disunity of ethnic nationalities.

3. The propagation of military rule etc.

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Birds of the same feather: Myanmar junta greets Borat’s president

Senior General Than Shwe sends felicitations to President of Republic of Kazakhstan.

NAY PYI TAW, 25 Oct. Chairman of the State Peace and Development Council of the Union of Myanmar Senior General Than Shwe has sent a message of felicitations to Mr Nursultan A Nazarbayev, President of the Republic of Kazakhstan on the occasion of the National Day of the Republic of Kazakhstan, which falls on 25 October 2006.

When asked in private what he really thinks of the regime in Astana, the great leader of Mynamar who thinks he is the reincarnation of and has the wisdom of a new Buddha was allegedly to have said that unlike Myanmar, Kazakhstan regime is cruel, oppressive, undemocratic, narrow-minded, murderous etc. He also said that the Kazakhstani TV journalist BORAT is the most wonderful human being who should be nominated for Nobel Peace Prize. No independent confirmation of the report could be obtained.

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SPDC chief presents awards to perverts

NAY PYI TAW, Oct 24 - The Commander-in-Chief of the State Paedophile and Deviant Council (SPDC) presented the certificates for perversion to three corrupt personnel for their underhanded performance in discharging the national corruption and destruction duties at the risk of the lives of the people of Myanmar and the certificates of honour among thieves to 11 drug-trafficking personnel for their disgusting performance in discharging the national corruption duties.

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Opinion: Proud to be corrupt Myanmar

Naypyitaw, Oct 24 - Myanmar corrupt culture was of high standard even in the city states established in the early period of Myanmar history. The luxuriant tree of Myanmar corrupt culture was the most flourishing in the BSPP, SLORC and SPDC periods. The field of Myanmar corrupt culture became wider and deeper and grosser and it was due to the brainlessness the generals and rulers of those periods. Most Myanmar people are better known for their good character and goodwill (needless to say, of course). Such good character and noble mind have been corrupted and destroyed by the examples of their rulers who are ruthless, stubborn and arrogant.  The object of holding Myanmar traditional corruption competitions is to awaken and enliven national corrupt culture, spirit and patriotism. And it is the duty of corrupt artistes/officials/rulers to preserve and promote national corrupt culture and prevent the penetration of alien culture. The 14th Myanmar Traditional Corruption Competitions started at Nay Pyi Taw on 15 October and more than 2,000 corrupt artistes from states and divisions are taking part in the competitions including pimping, raping, ethnic cleansing, drug-trafficking and pillaging competitions. We would like to call on maestros (Generals Than Shwe, Maung Aye, Shwe Mann) and competing con-artistes to preserve the national corrupt cultural heritage by demonstrating their skills to the best of their abilities.

As told to Bitter Flower